I’ve recently realized how strange my Google search history would look to the regular American. The quandaries that I have here are markedly different than anything I would have to Google in America. Here’s a small sampling of some things found on my Google search history:
“Can cockroaches eat through plastic?”
I have a cockroach problem. Previously I was totally fine coexisting with these little guys because they only came out at night when I was not in my kitchen. However, when I returned home from two weeks in Addis Ababa I found holes in a bag of pistachios and some chocolate from a care package. It may sound extreme, but I would fight to the death for my care package goodies if necessary. Needless to say, I am now in full on war with the roach family occupying my kitchen cabinet.
I think I have a rat in my ceiling. And by think, I know, because Google graciously provided me photos of rat turds. Luckily my rat friend does not come down; he just poops through the holes in my tarp ceiling.
“How to kill a chicken”
I want to kill a chicken before I leave Ethiopia. Enough said.
“Help! I think I have [enter any strange disease here]”
Giardia, worms, amoebas, parasites. I have not actually tested positively for any of these, but I have been convinced at various times that I had them. The worst thing a PCV can do when they are sick is going on WebMD (luckily, it rarely loads on my slow internet). In my head, the common cold turns into Tuberculosis, an upset stomach becomes worms eating my intestines, and an infected cut is definitely leprosy.
“How to block phone numbers”
I never had the issue of getting called incessantly at inappropriate hours in America. Here, it is constant. I have many numbers in my phone saved as “DON’T PICK UP”. Somehow my phone number has become public knowledge in Woreta. Recently, someone called me who I had never met. When I asked him where he got my phone number, he informed me that I also did not know the person he got my phone number from. Another unknown caller liked to whisper “I miss you” into the phone whenever I answered. Creepy.
“Why is my hair falling out?”
I thought I was losing my hair. Every time I showered or brushed it, absurd amounts of hair fell off of my head. I guess I forgot that if you only shower once or twice a week, it would seem like more hair is coming out of your head.
“Types of flies”
I didn’t know so many different flies existed until I came to Ethiopia. There are the regular black flies. Then there are the mini flies and the giant ones. I also can’t forget the shiny iridescent ones that I like to call poop flies because of their apparent love of animal feces. Who knew?!
“Bad engagement photos”
Let’s be honest, I would Google that in America too. Extreme boredom, clearly.